It was an easy day for her: all she really had to do was, rather like Tennyson’s account of the Charge of the Light Brigade, count them out and count them in. Hopefully, unlike that battle, there would be the same amount coming back as had gone.
She’d learned not to take anything for granted, though, particularly after the affair of the boat trip the previous year. She’d taken thirty-two out and, after enjoying the hospitality of the captain, had failed to notice that she’d brought thirty-one back. Of all the places it’s possible to spend a night locked in, the toilet of a Greek converted fishing boat is not the most luxurious – you might even describe it as your bog-standard bog – and the travel company had had to stump up £200 in compensation to keep the man in question quiet.
Despite their best attempts, it had still made the press, but oddly had little effect on sales, which, if anything, had slightly improved. The explanation for this lay in the nature of the tourists that Sunny Sunshine Tours attracted. At their end of the market, people viewed a payment of £200 for a night locked in the loo as a stunningly good deal, and consequently on most trips Vanessa had to lever them out with a crowbar.
Extract from Love's Labours by Simon Truckle, out now: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1527238873