4 go mad on social media part 1
Updated: Apr 17, 2019
Simon: Lads, I’ve written a book, and need to build a social media following to market it. What do you say?
Jem: Have you? Is it any good and what’s it about?
Simon: Glad you asked Jem, it is a laugh-out-loud comedy and just the sort of thing you’d like to read on the beach. This is the blurb:
Scott Poole – 24, broke and sadly single is the last person you’d call a Hercules. But when his rich uncle packs him off to a Greek beach with a list of Labours to complete, Scott finds himself in the unlikely position of emulating a demi-god. A demi-god with a can of lager in one hand and a dented windsurf board in the other.
As Scott and his best mate Oliver struggle to complete the modern-day Labours of Hercules, they find themselves accidental owners of a beach bar, come up against German naturists, chippy Greek schoolkids and grumpy donkeys.
What could possibly go wrong?
Nick: Sounds alright that, so what’ the plan?
Simon: I thought Nick could use his contacts in the media to give us some social media advice. Jem can mine his large stable of literary types, and Fishleigh, can ask his sixth formers to do some kind of media studies project on how to build a massive social media presence to sell books.
Jem: You do know Fishleigh doesn’t own a phone?
Simon: Still! I thought the bastard had dragged himself into the 21st century.
Jem: Nope, point of principal. To contact him you have to email his mum who walks round to his house and reads him the email.
Simon: Not an ideal man for a social media campaign, but it is what it is. So, about your literary followers Jem?
Jem: Got 600 on twitter, mostly university academics.
Simon: Well, it’s a start. I’ve got 16, Nick?
Nick: Full disclosure off the bat – I’m a social media fucktard. I become more of a dinosaur in my industry with every passing nanosecond. But you’ll be delighted to hear, eager to help. I have some mates who know this stuff inside out and can consult them.
Nick: So, as it turned out one mate I thought was superb with social media is a dunce too - "Tell him to write it on his cock one sentence at a time and Snapchat it to Kylie Jenner," was his enlightening response
Simon: So, state of play: Out of a campaign committee of 4 we’ve got Fishleigh without a phone and the social media presence of the invisible man. Me with 16 twitter followers, Nick with bugger all and Jem with 600 academics up his sleeve. What, gentleman, could possibly go wrong?